So if you’re like me.. like to feel fit, no particular major health concerns, whether it’s weight lifting or cardio but not on the scale of bodybuilding or in the olympics then we’re definitely on the same page.
Growing up I never really was into my fitness, I couldn’t stand netball and I avoided sports day like the plague for a fear of being judged. However, when I developed an eating disorder I started exercising obsessively, whether it was 3am, straight after school.. it didn’t matter. I was either exercising or thinking about exercise. So because I was obsessed with losing weight, I hated exercise because I felt like I had to do it. That’s the difference between obsessive and enjoyment.. feeling like you have to do something despite not wanting to.
When in recovery, I was told to keep any form of exercise to a minimum as my body needed time to heal. In all honesty, I felt a huge sigh of relief as someone told me not to do something I hated anymore. It was there.. in bold.. no more.
So when in recovery..
I tried plucking up the courage to join a gym but this was extremely difficult. I would be asked questions like “are you going to the gym to loose weight?” or “are you relapsing?” so in the end, trying to join a gym quickly finished. Even though I knew I wanted to build muscle, it felt like the world thought I was there trying to lose weight. Which is why I pushed it aside.
So here we go. Round 2.
I finally made it!
However, again it still wasn’t easy. I had people coming up to me commenting on how thin I was.. which in my opinion, is just as rude as telling someone they’re fat. It shouldn’t be acceptable. Eventually I felt like the gym was a place I could escape, which felt incredible.
So now I feel like I’ve finally found the right balance of going to the gym. Go when you feel like it and never force yourself to go. I had to recently take a break from fitness as life was getting far too busy and every time I tried to go I would get distracted.. this.. again is OK. It’s okay to take a break and allow yourself time to focus on other things and get back to fitness when needed. There’s definitely a fine like between obsessive and enjoying fitness.
So what I’ve learned or in some cases trying to learn in other ways.. is be kind to yourself.
All my love and keep on Nibblin’